TO: Sigma, SUBJECT: Crush Crawfish

Crawfish is having trouble adjusting to his life on the shipyard. He is an excellent worker but while he delivers on his promise to kill all Maverick Hunters on sight, he frequently fights with his co-workers and has been physically violent with Volt Catfish and the Maverick known as Vile. (I'm no fan of Vile's, but I believe he could prove useful and anyway, he knows I can scrap him whenever I want.)

I consulted with psychiatric experts about Crawfish's condition and we decided that the best course of treatment would be for Crawfish to interact with other life forms. Of course, since he is so unstable, face-to-face interactions would almost certainly result in the death of the other person(s). As a result, we decided to have Crawfish run an advice column which we believe will trigger what's left of his suffering circuit and eventually compel him to behave responsibly on behalf of Doppler's Army. Both the original letters and Crawfish's responses will be posted to a website, similar to what humans did in the pre-robotics era.

I have no reservations about this psychiatric treatment and I am confident that at its end, Crawfish will only target the enemies of Sigma and avoid counterproductive violence.

Dr. Doppler
MM/DD/2125

Alone on Valentine's Day

02/14/2125
Dear Crush Crawfish,

I'm a single human living in Neo New York. I don't think I'm very picky but I just can't find a date! Those Maverick Hunters are super cute and since most of them go Maverick, Mavericks must be really hot too, right? I'm very liberal and am open to a relationship with a human or reploid but I don't know if I'm ready to commit to going Maverick for love (yet). I'm really desperate.

I understand that you're also struggling to maintain healthy relationships so I thought I would receive more practical advice from you than from MaverickAbby. Do you or your co-workers have any advice for me?

Sincerely,

Lonelyhuman0214
Posted by Crush Crawfish
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